Sunday, February 13, 2011

I bit the bullet....

And booked an appointment with the Voodoo doctor (read: Naturopath). I have battled monthly psychosis for years and it has only gotten worse since the delivery of The Tank... So I blame him for my monthly woes. I must admit I'm quite the skeptic when it comes to taking a shot if this, chew on a weed of that and jump 6 times when getting out of bed in the morning kinda treatment of all things medical. So I dropped 200 bucks for an hour of time and that is supposed to be the start of all things healthy.

Now I arrived with issues such as irritability, anxiety, moodiness and I was waiting... waiting... waiting... for this miracle worker to come and get me. My appointment was for 2:15pm and I promptly arrived 15min prior to my appointment to fill out the necessary health history and there I waited. So my first impression was not that of one who may rave about pseudo-doctor. So she finally came out, apologized for her tardiness, handed her last patient a container of prosto-ease and sent him packing.

We sat and talked about what ails me and she recorded everything I said on her professional 8x11 blank printer paper and then devised this concoction of junk that I'm supposed to remember to take daily and also record all my eatings for 7 days and come back in 3wks. Uh- ok. So this better work or I'll be ticked that I wasted so much money on said voodoo crap.

Omega 3 + Vit D liquid which is supposed to be apple flavoured though really it tastes like day old salmon in a rotting vat of apples. Dose: 2 tsp gagged twice daily.

Vitex tincture which reminds me of jagermeister in my university days only it doesn't result in quite the hangover. Dose: 1 tsp twice daily.

Nervoheel 3-4 times a day and now I'm sure this is just a sugar pill placebo but hey... for 18.99 and relief I'm sure it works wonders on those who believe.

Last but not least the SEED protocol... Whats this you ask? Well its where the big yellow bird in me comes out. Days 1-14 a mixture of Pumpkin and Flax seeds in the amount of 2 TBSP daily and day 15-28 a mixture of sesame and sunflower seeds in the amount of 2 TBSP daily.

There ya have it, the miracle regime that is going to make my monthly woes disappear.

Dun dun duuun duuuuuuun.

Voodooo mooodoooo

1 comment:

  1. I hope it works well for you! I've heard that big changes in diet and vitamins can make a huge difference!